Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
