I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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