even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
