he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
MIDGETS
????
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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