2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
