The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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