Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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