i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize