the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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