Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize