he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
