mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
