I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
