Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
