would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
