I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
