That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
