Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
