Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
