Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
