Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
