when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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