the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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