I could have mohawked her pubes.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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