So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Randomize