This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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