Don't make out with my wife yet
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
