1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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