I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Even my vagina gasped.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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