Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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