I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm like, not good at living.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
