I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
