did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
