remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
