Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My ATM looks so different sober.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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