I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im holly from the hills drunk
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There r osticjed everywhere
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
