brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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