her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
