There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize