in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Panties = found
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
