Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
