I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
