Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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