This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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