My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Screwed.edu
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
