Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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