Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
