My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
