I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize