I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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