Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize