Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
