I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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