Redeem this text for a blowjob
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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