Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
