weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
