Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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