So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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