I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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