If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
