She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
